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You can’t be married to more than one person and women can’t marry women. Your full of shit!” James was not happy.“James, no reason to get angry or testy.” I remained calm in spite of my rising anger, “You want answers and I’m trying to give them to you. Let’s assume that what I told was not true. After this many years what is it you want?”“I want my wife back.” James said firmly.“Well, as you should have been able to judge from yesterday, that’s just not going to happen. From what Erin told me, there is no way under the sun that she wants you anywhere near her. And as far as Lynn is concerned there aren’t enough bullets in the world to shoot you with. I would not aggravate Lynn if I was you.”“All I want to do is get Erin back.” He almost seemed to be pleading.“James, that is not gonna happen. Last night Erin was ready to shoot you and you saw Lynn. Erin doesn’t want you anywhere near her or her kids. Our kids. James, you had your chance to man up, you blew it. When you blamed Erin. Like the Irish patient who hobbled into the Surgery waiting room. “I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I’d hate to feel like this if I was well!”Murphy dropped dead the moment he arrived home from a vacation in the tropics. He was laid out in the coffin for friends and neighbours to pay their last respects.“He’s got a great tan,” Mrs Doolan from next door mused. “The holiday did him the world of good.”“And he looks so calm and serene,” said Mrs McGuiness.“That’s because he died in his sleep.” explained Mrs Murphy, “and he doesn’t know he’s dead yet, but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him!”“Your glass is empty O’Flaherty, will you be having another?”“And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?” replied O’Flaherty.Murphy arrived home late from the pub, well oiled and ready for trouble.“Is that you Murphy?” called his wife.“Byjasis! It damned well better be!”Two tough union men were working on a building site when Murphy fell from the second floor.
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